Ellie Prohan: "Pride should be all year round"

As a DJ and presenter born and raised in west London, Ellie Prohan discovered Arsenal through her brother-in-law and never once looked back.

For LGBTQ+ Pride Month, we spoke to Prohan about how she forged her own path as a gay, Middle Eastern woman, how important queer visibility is within high-profile sports, and how football provides a community like nothing else.

Tell us about your connection to Arsenal.

So it wasn’t actually until my late teens that I became an Arsenal supporter. My sister and her now-husband got together and he was a die-hard Gooner, a season ticket holder and if he could have called his sons Arsenal 1 and Arsenal 2, he probably would have done! He essentially said, “If we’re going to be family, you’re going to have to understand what real football is about.” And that was it!

From then on, being involved with the Arsenal family and seeing how it brought my family together, the memories we created watching the team, the camaraderie, and how we consoled each other on the odd occasion that Arsenal lost was beautiful. 

Arsenal supporters have each other backs and we’re super passionate and loyal. I love that. 

Do you remember your first Arsenal game?

I’m not sure about my first game but the match that stands out the most to me was the Women’s Champions League semi-final against Wolfsburg. It was unbelievably stressful - I loved it!

What I saw on the pitch was pure Premier League talent. They were switching it up, they were savage. I saw sick footballers who put their blood, sweat and tears into that game, with the home support rallying them.  

In the stands, seeing how many fellow queer women were there was incredible, too. Football is great because it provides the real-life community that everyone is craving right now, especially LGBTQ+ people.

Football is basically the undying community that is continually providing a space for people to come and find their people. That’s never going to change - this sport is always going to have that place for you. 

Can you share your queer journey with us? 

With my sexuality, I would say that I'm gay and Middle Eastern. It's very important for me to put those together. On the pronouns side, she/they rings the truest for me. I don’t mind being referred to as a woman, but sometimes I’ll occupy that space in between, where I don’t feel masculine or feminine. 

Growing up, I wasn’t in a position to explore that aspect of myself because of my culture. My mum was a single parent who was working so hard to bring us up without a father present, and if I had been open with my sexuality, the community we were in would have claimed it was ‘bad’ parenting. The idea that if my dad had been around, I wouldn’t have been gay. 

Instead, I just became consumed with trying to get my family into a better place in life.  I took the responsibility at a young age to essentially be the father figure and team up with my mum. She was an immigrant who moved to this country with no family, no friends and no understanding of English and we made a better life together. We proved everyone wrong who said that my mum couldn't do it on her own.

Once I felt like I’d achieved that goal in my later twenties, I realised, “I actually need to live for myself now.” I had been in and out of committed heterosexual relationships but something had just never fully connected. I learnt that I can’t force it. This is not new. Being queer is not new. This has been going on for centuries and centuries and centuries. It’s 2023 so anyone who can’t accept LGBTQ+ people needs to just get with the programme.

I am finally able to love myself for who I am, love who I want to love and have the support of my family because that's the thing that I thought I was going to lose after coming out.

Having finally put my foot down with what I wanted and still having my family support me, was the biggest achievement of all. That's why I say Middle Eastern and gay. I have met so many Middle Eastern people in my life who are gay but are closeted because they are afraid of how it’s going to impact the community or affect their family’s reputation. It’s very upsetting to know that these people could be suffering in silence. 

Let’s not take the freedom to be gay or queer acceptance for granted in this country. Let's show that inclusivity is one of our biggest strengths as a nation. Let's just translate that into one of the most popular things in the world - football - to show people that they're accepted no matter what. 

Why is queer visibility within football so important?

It’s very, very scary to take that first step. Especially with queer male footballers, I think it's so hard for them to take that first step because there’s so much against them - whether that’s the culture of the sport or their own culture they were raised in. They’re risking a lot by coming out. 

I’d love to know why it's more acceptable for women to be queer and play sport than for men to be queer and play sport. What is the difference? Why do we not bat an eyelid when a queer female footballer is doing their job and is also in a public relationship with a woman? It would be so nice for us to just accept people for who they are as talented individuals.

If any LGBTQ+ footballer, regardless of gender, decides to take that leap and come out against the odds, their legacy and their inspiration will last a lifetime because they have the biggest platform. We’re all watching them. There is no expiry date on inspiring people. 

What does Pride mean to you in 2023?

It’s a difficult one with Pride. I've got a love-hate relationship with the word because it's like Christmas, right? We wait until December to put our trees up and then at the start of January, we take our trees down. We forget about Christmas. 

We should be invested in Pride all year round. I'm walking around celebrating pride every day by telling everyone that I'm gay and Middle Eastern. Let's not treat it like it just comes around once a year. Pride is showing continuous growth and respect towards a community of people that have been around for centuries.

How could the footballing community develop in the future to ensure it’s inclusive? 

I see with my nephews, who are massive Arsenal supporters, that it all starts at home. I think what’s really important for me is making sure you're bringing your kids along with you and passing the Arsenal legacy down to them because they are the next generation and they speak a very different language to us. 

So to empower the next generation by taking your children to a women's game, introducing your children to the different types of people who attend Arsenal matches and just really embracing our whole community - I feel that’s a great recipe for helping the next generation.

And then, when they meet people who are queer, they’ll understand. It won't come as a surprise. It prepares our young people to know what to say in those moments and always just be kind.